David Ottewell's Politics

You might have noticed that Stockport council leader Dave Goddard responded in the comments to this.
Now a TIF spokeman has emailed me with this on-the-record comment.
“The TIF package should secure 120 vehicles to support the mainstream roll out of yellow school buses across Greater Manchester. With TIF, Local Transport Plan funding and the Regional Funding Allocation, the full future Greater Manchester yellow school bus fleet should be in excess of 300 vehicles.
“The final numbers of vehicles will be determined through further dialogue with Local Education Authorities, so a firm figure for the specific Stockport TIF deployment cannot be provided at this stage.
“But the school destinations we will be looking to target with the additional TIF-funded yellow schools buses – to cater for pupils living in Stockport – include Hazel Grove High School, St Ambrose College in Trafford, Parrs Wood Technology College and Levenshulme High School in Manchester and St Thomas Moore School in Tameside.”

A letter arrives to my work address asking: “Have you ever won a large cash prize before, Mr Ottewell?”
An intriguing question. The answer is no.
“Mr Ottewell,” it continues, “this is the final notice you will receive regarding the £50,000 cash prize. I advise you to register your claim now. Please reply right away!”
At this point I notice the letter is addressed to “CJ Ottewell”, but really, does it matter? Who cares about initials when there is a large cash prize at stake?
Anyway, the letter contains a CLAIM LABEL with a CLAIM NUMBER which (in bold letters) “entitles the bearer to the sum of £50,000″ if (in not-so-bold letters) “the claim number above match[es] that pre-selected as the winner of the £50,000 PRIZE DRAW”.
My name, give or take an initial or two, then appears on an important-looking table called the “SUMMARISED PRIZE DRAW STATEMENT REPORT”. Next to the figure £50,000. And the words “TO BE CLAIMED”.
Just above me is Mrs Kirby-Colclough, who has already been PAID her LARGE CASH PRIZE of £15,000. Below is Mr Lewis, who had been PAID his LARGE CASH PRIZE of £3,000.
(In brackets, a note next to the table reads: “Abbreviated list of prizes paid or unpaid with actual and potential winners.” I am far too rich to care what the hell this is supposed to mean.)
So I’m rich. And do you know what the really great thing is about this astonishing piece of good fortune? I also get the chance to order a selection of goods from the prize company’s catalogue. These include “real leather shoes” offering “real comfort”, a satin slip “for everyday wear”, and a stick that becomes a seat (”One second a stick, the next a seat!”)
On top of all that, I also get this “brilliant” porcelain clock (rrp £12.99) ABSOLUTELY FREE. Because rich people need to know the time, too.

The clock, my mysterious benefactors assure me, will “complement any room in [my] house”. It has “easy to read Arabic numerals” and is “decorated with exquisite birds”. It does not come with a battery, but let’s face it: with my LARGE CASH PRIZE I can buy thousands of the things.
Farewell, then, dear reader. The next time you see me I will be on a beach in the Bahamas, sipping champagne cocktails, clutching an exquisite porcelain bird clock and squatting on my handy stick/seat.

I’m going to steer clear of TIF-related matters today, as far as possible. I had a headache, and I’ve got to give evidence to the House of Lords tomorrow.
If you want to be helpful, you can help me decide whether to buy a new car. Part of me thinks I should just run my current one into the ground; part of me wants to buy a sensible small-car replacement; and part of me wants to get my mid-life crisis in early, and buy something ridiculous. Preferably with an ejector seat.

Sports minister Gerry Sutcliffe flagged up yesterday that the government intends to “revisit” the fit and proper person test for football club owners.
It was in response to a question from David Taylor, the Labour backbencher for North West Leicestershire, who said: “Given the takeover of Manchester City by a mega-rich plutocrat from a country governed by a hereditary dictatorship and given the dubious source of finances used to buy Chelsea and Heart of Midlothian football clubs, does the minister agree that now really is the time to regulate the way in which British football clubs are acquired, particularly when they are acquired by people who have become billionaires through corruption, dishonesty or extortion, or all three?”
Mr Sutcliffe replied: “First, I do not think that it matters what the nationality of an individual is. We have examples in the premier league, such as that of Aston Villa, where people are doing well in their ownership of the club and in its development within the community. My honourable friend touches on the fit and proper persons test, which needs to be revisited. That is one of the issues that we will take up with the football authorities.”
Frankly I’ve never been sure why the rules governing football club ownership should be any different to the rules governing other businesses active in the UK. It’s nice to think football clubs are somehow “special”, and that supporters have a special kind of spiritual “ownership”, but let’s be honest – that’s not how it works in practice, and there’s no particular moral reason why it should.