Extreme swimming
20th March, 2007
NEVER mind the bush tucker trials of I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here. The organisers of the World Swimming Championships in Melbourne have found a far more effective way to torture people.
With a magnificent lack of foresight that only organisers of major sporting events seem to be capable of, someone at FINA decided that it would be a good idea to hold the open water events between the pier and the marina at St Kilda, an area heavily populated with jellyfish.
Now I have to confess that swimming is not my specialist subject, but even I know that it’s not normal practice to hold a swimming race in which the competitors get stung so badly that several of them have to be helped from the water and two fail to finish. (All 42 competitors were stung repeatedly during the race.) Unless, of course, someone has invented ‘extreme swimming’ without telling me.
Keri-Anne Payne
Poor Keri-Anne Payne, the Stockport Metro swimmer, was in a good position to win the 10k race this morning until she was stung in the mouth by a jellyfish (which I imagine would hurt), but still held on to finish 11th.
Her Metro team-mate Cassie Patten had a better time of it – she was only stung in the arms, legs and face as she claimed a silver medal behind race winner Larisa Ilchenko.
“The stings were very painful but I’d tried to concentrate on getting to the end, and to be honest they helped to keep you alert as you’re out there for such a long time,” said Patten, showing a level of stoicism that makes Vera Drake look like Naomi Campbell.
As if being stung repeatedly to the point of collapse wasn’t bad enough, the swimmers got very little sympathy from the World Swimming Championships website, where the official line seems to be that jellyfish are just an everyday hazard of open water swimming, like cold weather and wrinkly skin.
A jellyfish
Another report elsewhere on the same site paints a slightly more graphic – and even less sympathetic – picture.
“Rough conditions, jellyfish and battles among athletes took their toll on some competitors, with several crying uncontrollably as they staggered out of the water at the conclusion of the event,” read the report.
“The local fairy penguins had an easier time than the athletes, happily fishing next to the feed station as the swimmers raced past,” it concluded with a heartlessness almost as breathtaking as a jellyfish sting. I could be wrong, but I’m guessing that the anonymous author of that report hasn’t swum the course.
Well, that’s all fine, if FINA don’t mind their championship being turned into an absolute farce. All I’ll say is that you never get jellyfish at the Salford triathlons.
