Last on MOTD: How am I supposed to feel?
20th October, 2007
BEING a successful football manager these days is about more than just winning. Never underestimate the power of a memorable post-match interview.
Sir Alex Ferguson realised long ago that a few choice quotes in front of the television cameras can hide a multitude of sins on the pitch. Remember the defeat at Southampton in April 1996, which he blamed on Manchester United’s grey away shirts?
People may laugh about it as an excuse now, but don’t forget that was a potentially-damaging defeat at a key stage of a particularly brutal Premiership title battle with Newcastle. Fergie’s words took the attention away from the players, and enabled United to fight back and win that battle.
Shifting the blame for a poor result is a key part of any manager’s armoury. It’s not about deceit; it’s about survival. Blame the kit, blame the referee, blame that plastic pitch. I’m convinced that one of the reasons Stuart Pearce did not last longer at Manchester City was that he didn’t publicly criticise referees enough. (Having said that, you don’t want to end up like Neil Warnock, Stuart, so you were probably doing the right thing.)
Almost every match brings up at least one incident which a frustrated manager can point to as the only reason their team is not chasing a vanful of trophies.
Almost every match, that is, except this weekend’s Premier League game between Fulham and Derby.
Tonight’s final game on MOTD: Fulham 0 Derby 0. Commentator: Ian Gwyn Hughes
Yes, there was a sending off for Fulham’s Paul Konchesky. But he threw his elbow into Craig Fagan’s face, so that was hard to dispute.
Otherwise, the game appeared to consist almost entirely of long bouts of head tennis ending with hopeful snapshots at goal from outside the penalty area. Both teams were undeniably, inexcusably rubbish.
So when there’s nothing to talk about, what do you talk about? Fulham keeper Antti Niemi’s glassy eyed post-match interview contained a series of mumbled cliches about how pleased he was to keep a clean sheet. (He didn’t look it.)
His manager Lawrie Sanchez, on the other hand, tackled his interview with the slightly confused rambling air of a first-time contestant on Just A Minute.
“We drew 0-0 and I came in thinking: ‘We haven’t got beaten and we haven’t won either,’” Sanchez began, waiting for Clement Freud to buzz in.
“How am I supposed to feel?
“Eight points from 10 games is not good enough. I understand that, the players understand that and the crowd understand that. But we could be a lot worse.”
Buzz. Repetition of ‘understand’.
The person I feel sorry for is the poor sod from the Derby Evening Telegraph who will have to write a 1,000 word match report on the game for Monday. Good luck, mate.
Gubbometer
1. Wigan: 4
2. Fulham: 3 (Gubba Difference: +1)
3. Derby: 3 (GD: 0)
4. Gubba: 2
5. Bolton: 2 (GD: +1)
5. Reading: 2 (GD: +1)
7. Aston Villa: 2 (GD: 0)
7: West Ham: 2 (GD: 0)
9: Birmingham: 1
9: Everton: 1
9: Middlesbrough: 1
9: Newcastle: 1
(NB. Where teams are level, positions are decided by Gubba Difference: ie, the number of times a team is last on Match of the Day with Tony Gubba commentating.)
